Thursday, June 30, 2011
A How To Guide by Thome Widdison
So, a couple Halloween's ago Wayne Bass dressed up as a Roman Solider, it was pretty PIMP you should check it out on his facebook. His good friend Jack Riley made the breast plate, sword, and shield. Why did he go through the trouble to pound and mold that heavy metal? It was because he had to do a presentation on Caesar and the Professor said to dress up. So, Jack being the Smart Ace he is "dressed up" :)
Anyways, homeboy let Wayne use this awesome getup Jack had made and when Wayne got to the Stake Center the LDS gurlz mistook him for Captain Moroni. It's cool CM is a Stud, so Wayne just went with it. During the course of the evening Mr. Bass ran into this girl who some might say was ascetically pleasing. And, as they began to talk she mentioned that she was from Texas, and Wayne's response was oh! l'm from Oklahoma... What part of Texas do you come from? She said Austin but we don't really like Oklahoma. So, with all the intelligence he could muster Wayne told her, that's cool because we don't like your kind either! Then he gave her the dead Longhorns sign and walked away...
About one year later Wayne and I became roommates and Home Teaching Companions... It was a great time I learned a lot from him! Anyways, guess who was on our Home Teaching list! Yep, that Sexy Texan! As we walked away from our first visit with her I remember him saying that the blond was the same Texan from the Halloween Party. My response went something like "Wayne, I love you like a distant cousin I see only about once a year, but you are an IDIOT!!! If a girl who looks like that told me she thought the Pats were a bunch of Douches I'd say yep I sure do hate that Bill Belichick guy and whats up with that Tom Brady? I think he's a flamer"
Anyways, the title of this post is How To Be A Total Pharisee, by me! (THOME WIDDISON) A quick history lesson, the Pharisee's believed in do as I say not as I do. The same is true with me! There is a girl who lives in the same complex as me (I posted a photo below) who on occasions will wear a NY Jets gear (For those of you who don't know the New York Jets and the New England Patriots are like the Jedi Knights and the Storm Troopers, Cops and Robbers, Autobots and Decepticons. In short we don't like eachother. And, the other day when we finally spoke she told me, so I hear that you like the Pats, my response was "yeah I've seen your Jets jacket... We probably won't be friends! Then I went into my house! Boom take that Jet's!!! Blaha ha ha
Then I realized all the times I've given Wayne Bass crap for what had transpired that Halloween night, and all that I can say is that I'm sorry Wayne Bass! I see now that I am a Pharisee for calling you out for doing the exact same thing I'm currently doing. I'm sorry to my mom, my family and friends, to my fans, and most importantly to Wayne Bass. Wayne you have taught me many great and marvelous things but most importantly you have taught me that the team should come before random hot chicks. Hot Chicks who will probably just let me buy them diner and some ice cream cones a couple of times and then ditch me when they are through burning a hole in my wallet. A mans Football team is like a family, the players are like your brothers who never let you down. Except when they lose... That's really disappointing
To sum up that last paragraph we'll take a look at the words of Michael Scott: "Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly... she's not yo' ho no mo'