Friday, December 17, 2010

Brothers We Need To Reconize Last Place!

Ok, so kicking the last place guy out of the league has been voiced as too much. But, I really want to make it competitive for the guys who don't make the playoffs. So, I propose a Trophy of Shame which has to be displayed all year in remembrance that [name of last place guy] sux as Fantasy Football.

Now, unlike getting Chief Catoosa where the former Champ has to pay to ship it to the new champ. The last place guy has to pay shipping to get this trophy. That's the price they have to pay for not being able to keep The Chief or for falling into last place.

Are you guys on board for this? If so just let me know and I'll ship it to Dan

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Big Day in College Football

So with the only game being played today being Army losing to Navy you'd think there wouldn't be a whole lot to write about...But, Cam Newton wins the Heisman! WHAT!?!? But, his dad tried to get some money out of him playing at Mississippi State? There were almost some NCAA infractions made from a man who isn't even associated with the NCAA aside from the fact his son plays college football. Cameron Newton had bad grades at Florida! So, it's agreed we should crucify the man! Anyways, I know that you know how I feel about the whole deal...In short congrats Cam!

The really big news! Billy Muschamp has been hired as the new Head Coach at Florida! Man. I really thought that the only way that Will Muschamp would ever leave Austin was in a pine box. I mean Mac Brown has been around for a while and it doesnt look he's ready to throw in the towel just yet, but he is an old man! It's not like he's Joe The Energizer Paterno. But, lets be honest...It's the SEC, but then again that was Texas, but not only is it the SEC but it's one of the better programs in the SEC...At least for the moment. (This was a down year) What's cracks me up about the whole thing is that on Monday, Texas offensive coordinator Greg Davis resigned and offensive line coach Mac McWhorter and special teams coordinator and defensive line coach Mike Tolleson retired. Blah ha ha! Looks like Mac Brown has his work cut out for him in the next little bit! It's just hilarious to me both Coordinators are gone and a butt-load of Browns Staff needs to be hired:) I just couldn't ask for a better way to finish out the 2010-2011 season.

Oklahoma beat Nebraska in the last BIG 12 Championship
OU gets to play UCONN in the Fiesta Bowl (actually I would have preferred stiffer competition, but I'm happy)
Texas didn't even get invited to any Bowl this year
The finalist that I wanted won the Heisman (Honestly, if it hadn't of been for all the controversy I really wouldn't have cared so much.)
Now, Oregon just has to beat Auburn (fat chance) and all my NCAA Christmas Wishes will be true!

How about it Evil Santa? Can you make it ALL happen?

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Paradigm Shift...Isn't it About Time?

I am not a League Commissioner, I am just a simple team owner, but I propose a change brethren! So, lend me your ears! Many of you a while back when I was trying to get Rob Warnick into the league had stated that an eleven man fantasy league would be too much and we can't kick someone out just because... So, I've been talking with a couple of the guys in the league and I think that we've came up with an idea on how to "expand the pie". And, that is if we suspend the last place team from the league for the following year. And, then the next year he comes back in and the next last place guy takes the season off.

This would be good for a couple of reasons: First, it would keep guys playing til the end. Because once someone realizes that they are not going to make the playoffs it then becomes easy to quit for the rest of the year. Second, it would get Rob Warnick a guy who really wants to be apart of this into the league...

Another thing that Quinn and Joe had been talking about is if the next years draft be decided by the order we finished the previous season, just like in the NFL. So, who ever is coming off of their bye year gets the first round pick and who ever finished 9th gets the second pick and so forth.

It has also been proposed that we discuss matters concerning the league in Tempe Az in January...I hate the snow and I would love to go down and see Quinn and Joe again, we could hold our Official I Phelta Thi Fantasy Football meeting at the Tilted Kilt... (Just a suggestion)

Anyways, I think a major change like this should require like an 8 to 10 vote instead of a simple majority vote.

What do ye say?

PS. I say that these new rules don't come into effect until next year, so Dan is exempt from being suspended this year.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Because The Little Smack Talk Section Only Lets Me Post 200 Words and No Photos

Dogfighting: 1.5 years, Stealing signals: $750 000, beat Thome first round in the playoff's: priceless'
Ok, so I know that joke is like sooooo 2009, and I hate to do this to you Thome. Because, honestly your like the only one in this league who I actually like. But, I have no control over the playoff bracket. So, I'm sure that you understand that this is strictly business. This blog post is dedicated to the top five reasons as to why Wayne Bass is going to beat Thome Widdison this week in the first round of the 2010 playoffs.

1) Because Thome is gay!

2) Thome is really gay!

3) Even as a 93 year old man Thome is STILL gay!

4) I don't know what to say about this one!

5) Ok, this one is pretty cool I actually tried to hack into your facebook account to make this your profile pic...But, I failed :(

The only thing gayer then these photos I found is Thome's Team Name...I take that back Team Boo is the gayest name! I'm still going to kick your butt Thome...Uh, at Nintendo, and this week in Fantasy Football! Hope you enjoyed your short season! Blahaha

Hey Mark Benson works at this hotel in IF and he say's that Karaoke Thursday is jumpin'...Wanna get a group together?

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Let's Go Bowlin' Boyz!

Ok so, I'm tired of giving you guys a cheat sheet every year. So, instead of me telling you who I think is going to win, I'm going to tell you which match up's I like and don't like...Or, say which games will be fun to watch. If you read carefully you'll find some little nuggets of knowledge I've left behind

BYU vs. UTEP Albuquerque, N.M.

uDrove Humanitarian
Northern Illinois vs. Fresno State

R+L Carriers New Orleans
Ohio vs. Troy New Orleans
Dec. 18

Beef 'O' Brady's St. Petersburg
Southern Mississippi vs. Louisville
Dec. 21
MAACO Las Vegas
Utah vs. Boise State
Dec. 22

S.D. County Credit Union Poinsettia
Navy vs. San Diego State
Dec. 23

Sheraton Hawaii
Hawaii vs. Tulsa Honolulu
Dec. 24

Little Caesars
Florida International vs. Toledo
Dec. 26

AdvoCare V100 Independence
Air Force vs. Georgia Tech
Dec. 27

Champs Sports
West Virginia vs. NC State
Dec. 28

Missouri vs. Iowa
Dec. 28

Military Bowl Presented By Northrop Grumman
East Carolina vs. Maryland
Dec. 29

Illinois vs. Baylor Houston
Dec. 29

Valero Alamo
Oklahoma State vs. Arizona
Dec. 29

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces
Army vs. SMU
Dec. 30

New Era Pinstripe
Kansas St. vs. Syracuse
Dec. 30

Franklin American Mortgage Music City
North Carolina vs. Tennessee
Dec. 30

Bridgepoint Education Holiday
Nebraska vs. Washington
Dec. 30

Meineke Car Care
South Florida vs. Clemson
Dec. 31

Hyundai Sun
Notre Dame vs. Miami
Dec. 31

AutoZone Liberty
Georgia vs. UCF
Dec. 31

South Carolina vs. Florida State
Dec. 31

Northwestern vs. Texas Tech
Jan. 1

Florida vs. Penn State
Jan. 1

Capital One
Alabama vs. Michigan State
Jan. 1

Gator Bowl
Mississippi State vs. Michigan
Jan. 1

Rose Bowl Game presented by VIZIO
Wisconsin vs. TCU
Jan. 1

Tostitos Fiesta
Connecticut vs. Oklahoma
Jan. 1

Discover Orange
Stanford vs. Virginia Tech
Jan. 3

Allstate Sugar
Ohio State vs. Arkansas
Jan. 4
Middle Tennessee vs. Miami (Ohio)
Jan. 6

AT&T Cotton
LSU vs. Texas A&M
Jan. 7

BBVA Compass Bowl
Pittsburgh vs. Kentucky
Jan. 8

Kraft Fight Hunger
Nevada vs. Boston College
Jan. 9

Tostitos BCS National Championship Game
Oregon vs. Auburn
Jan. 10

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Like I Said Before I'm Still Sour That Cam Chose Aurburn over Oklahoma But I'm Happy About How It Turned Out

Chris Low who covers the SEC Football Blog stated this perfectly. And, I couldn't agree more with him. We'll now that this VERY important issue has been put to rest perhaps now the FBI can find something a little more worth while to do with the tax payers monies.

Also, the Bush and Mayo deal at USC was totally different. For starters, they actually got paid. Cam's dad was just wanting to get paid. (Did Cameron know about it? Probably. But, do they hand out attempted Nobel Peace Prizes? Do they send you to jail for attempted murder? Umm...forget that last one. Side Show Bob is kind of an idiot sometime) And, I think that the ACC is just trying to get noticed, because they're football teams aren't really doing anything really noteworthy lately.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Somebody Please Just Give Me One Good Reason

Why does the Big (L)East Champion still get an automatic bid to a B(C)S bowl?

Big East Standings
Conference Overall
Team W L W L
Connecticut 4 2 7 4
West Virginia 4 2 8 3
Pittsburgh 4 2 6 5
Syracuse 4 3 7 5
South Florida 3 3 7 4
Louisville 3 4 6 6
Cincinnati 2 4 4 7
Rutgers 1 5 4 7

The Big East has traditionally had some very good teams . . . so has the Ivy League if you go back far enough. Big East teams so far this year have a collective 1-7 record against top 25 teams. The one victory was by Syracuse, and I'm not sure which team was ranked when they went down against the mighty Orange, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't Akron, Maine, Colgate or Rutgers.

The Cincinnati Bearcats have won the Big East the past two years and responded by getting blown out by Florida 51-24 and beaten by 20-7 by an 8-4 Virginia Tech team.

I understand that every conference has its ups and downs, but how long does the Big East get to turn it around. Here's my solution, have the Big East winner play TCU in their BCS bowl this year. Winner gets an automatic BCS bid for their conference next year. Loser has to adopt the worst team from the winner's conference.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

It's Like a Post Apocalypse Airport Here

So, this isn't sports related, but it's like 1:30ish to two oclock and I'm in a small plastic play house that sits in the middle of playland here in the SLC Airport. You would think that having free reign of a major airport would be AWESOME. (I sure did) but you'd be wrong.

Here's why spending the night in an Airport SUX

1) The only people that are here are other passengers who are too cheap to get a hotel. And, the night cleaning crew...In short don't leave your bags unintended. I'm using mine as a pillow

2) They do have soothing music playing, but it gets interrupted every 11:45:00 mins by an announcement about how not to let anyone tamper with our bags and whatnot. Thanks

3) The airport doesn't know how to turn off a light...It's so bright EVERYWHERE!

4) The chairs all have armrest that don't move up, and all the good benches have already been staked out.

5) I don't know how many times someone ridding a vacuum or a floor buffer is going to drive by my playpalace, but it's really starting to annoy me!

6) I'm so hungry, but everything is closed, and I can't go to sleep, for obvious reasons. (If you need some help refer to items 1-5)

7) I'm not lying, I just heard one of the vacuum ridders ask another if he wanted to race...Ironically enough they didn't pass by any faster

8) Hey they just drastically dimmed the lights THAT'S GREAT!

So, you might have asked yourself why has Wayne Bass chosen to camp out in the play place plastic house. 2 reasons:

1) It's darker inside

2) I feel my bags are safer as I attempt to fall a sleep

Real quick I found an awesome spot. It was a dinning area, with padded booth seating and it was super dark. Why am I not there you may say. It's because of a loud BEEP BEEP every 3 seconds from the Burger King Kitchen. You know how people who live by train tracks after a while can't hear the train's? We'll I thought I could do the same. 20mins latter I just had a headache.

We'll like I said sorry this has nothing to do with sports, but what are you going to do about it?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I say Cameron You say Newton...Cameron!

Well, during the summer I had been following pretty closely the where this former Gator was going to go after being the best JC QB in the nation. He made a couple trips to Norman Oklahoma, and I was hopeful that Mr. Cameron Newton would be a Sooner this year. But, instead he chose to attend school at Auburn. To put it mildly I was disappointed, ok I might have made a voodoo doll with a big number 2 on his chest. :)

So, with the allegations that Cam Newton's dad had solicited Mississippi State for $$$$ I laughed. In fact I laughed pretty hard, "that's what you get Mr. Newton." But, right now I'm tired of hearing about it. As of right now all they have are weak facts, and nothing solid. Right now the Freakin' FBI is getting involved! That is ridiculous! If someone did pay money for Cam to play, will anyone get arrested? Will the guilty parties pack their bags and head to luxurious Guantanamo Bay-like place? NO! Because it's not against the law. Its an NCAA violation, so why is the FBI even hangin' around?

If I was running things I'd say let the NCAA work out their own mess, theres really nothing that FBI can do anyways. Besides, they should pay those athletes to play anyways....Do you know how much schools get for just making it to a bowl game?

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Lebron is a Tool

Miami 5-4 Cleveland 4-4


HAHAHAHAHAHA . . . haha . . . haha . . . hehe . . . whoo

I know some say it's Cleveland's Fault Lebron left because they didn't build a team around him. Ok, so Lebron didn't have Pippen, Rodman, and Kukoc playing with him, but the Cavaliers aren't that terrible. It's not like Mo Williams and Antwan Jamison are Smush Parker and Kwame Brown.

I know the Cavs probably won't keep up with the Heat for the entire year. They may not even make the playoffs, which is why I'm taking my shots right now. After "The Decision," Lebron has filled the least favorite NBA player void left open for me when Bruce Bowen retired. Which is why I like this:

Yeah, yeah, I've heard it before and I get it. Lebron James was a free agent and Lebron James was under no legal or ethical obligation to stay in Cleveland. But the truth of the matter is that Lebron James positioned himself to be Cleveland's greatest sports icon EVER. Lebron James was becoming a hero to a city that has stood behind crappy sports teams for decades, Lebron James promised to finally give them their only championship after many near misses . . . and then Lebron James gave up . . . in the 2nd round of the playoffs . . . and does anyone else think it's stupid how much Lebron James refers to himself in 3rd person?

Maybe it's a reflection of professional sports today. Athletes have to feed their families, they have to do what's best for #1. But I can't help but feel that it wasn't that long ago that people who got paid millions of dollars to play a game still cared about the concept of team, cared about the cities they represented and the fans that loved them.

I've been in a locker room and looked around and felt like the other guys there were my brothers ready to go to war with me. Knowing that I had to leave it all on the field and win my battle on each possession, on every play, or else I was letting my team down. I've had those moments where I knew that the name on the back of my jersey didn't matter nearly as much as the name on front. I honestly wonder if Lebron James ever has . . .

Cleveland 2
Lebron 0
South Park 1

Sunday, October 31, 2010

The New England Karate Kids?

The answer to the age old question of how the Patriots can keeping putting no name players on the field and continue to win. Its easy. They are ninjas. Case closed.

The Miami Bums

If there is one thing that sports fans are its vindictive. They will love you when you're winning games for them and all is well but they will turn on you in a second. And this is were Lebron James comes in. Now I personally have no problems with Lebron leaving to go to Miami(the way he left wasn't cool but that's a topic for another day). But in the months after he left there was a clothes drive where all the unwanted Lebron James memorabilia was collected and donated to homeless people in the Miami area. This might be the funniest things I have ever heard of. They are basically saying "hey Lebron, you are a bum. Hey bums, here is some Lebron crap for you" Cleveland fans 1. Lebron James 0

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Can You Guess Why Wayne Bass is Smiling

Its' because of rain drops on windows, and whiskers on kittens. Nick Saban losses and so does Michigan. Bright little packages tied up with strings. These are a few of my favorite things...

Ok, I'm done singing to The Sound of Music... But, seriously I have a big grin because the following teams lost today:

Alabama losing to Steve Spurrier's 19th ranked Gamecocks was AWESOME! I am so tired about hearing Role Tide Role... Sportsnation's Michelle Beadle said it best. "Colt McCoy was out that game so the National Championship didn't count." Honestly I just hate hearing about how phenomenal Bama is...I'm glad it's over.

Florida State giving #13Miami a spanking 17-45 The last time Jimbo Fisher saw a score like that it was Oklahoma 47 and the Seminoles 17...Feels good on this side hey Jimbo? But, seriously I wish FSU the best...In fact I hope they all out dominate the ACC and win their bowl game...It's just more style points for my beloved Sooners. (To be honest with you Florida State really has been pretty impressive this season.)

The highly touted Michigan Wolverines lost to the now 6-0 WE ARE MSU Spartans!!! To beat Rich Rod it's not that hard...You stop Pat Whi...I mean Denard Robinson, then you stop Rich's Team. Yahoo! I'm glad they finally played a decent team and got the game handed to them by two touchdowns and a field goal.

The only way to make this day better is if:

LSU would have lost to Florida...I've never really had a beef with the Gators except for Tim Tebow and in his a pharisaical way of using the Lords name to further his career. I remember when he would relieve Chris Leak...Man I was impressed! And, I never heard him say "God Bless" during interviews, and he never wrote scriptures on the eye strips...He didn't start flaunting all this until Heisman talk arose...Has he really done any of that stuff lately? Granted he's not in the news as much anymore, but when he is does he still say "God Bless" during interviews? In short, Urban Myers, keep up the good work...Les Miles, take a long walk off a short dock.

If Kentucky would have beat #8 Auburn, mainly because of Cameron Newton... I'm still holding a grudge because Cameron picked them over the Sooners, and were stuck with Landry Jones. (Don't get me wrong Mr. Jones has talent, he so far has 1,500 passing yards 11 TD's and only 3 picks, but watching him play makes me nervous.)

So, all and all its' been a good day...And, if your wondering why I haven't said anything about the OU game today...It's because this was their bye week. Next week they play Iowa St. Go Sooners!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Hey Everyone Let's Jump on the Michigan Bandwagon!

I'm just kidding...Let's not and then say that we did...Ok, I don't even want to do that. Denard Robinson or as I and my huhum friends in the NCAA coaching realm like to call him. The Nard Dawg! We all think the Nard Dawg is a stellar athlete! There is no sarcasm in that statement. I really mean that, he's a lot of fun to watch. But, for me to dust off my old Michigan hat after they've started out 5-0 I think is a little premature. They beat ND. WHO CARES! Is anybody impressed with that win? Notre Dame just fired their head coach because Charlie wasn't putting up enough W's. Even if ND's QB is named Christ, which apparently isn't enough to help the team win, so why is the nation getting all excited about the Wolverines? I think this week as Michigan meets up with their first ranked opponent Michigan State Spartans will show if they really deserve to be ranked in the Top 25. Don't get me wrong, this Saturday it's going to be a shoot out in Ann Arbor but I think the Spartans will edge the overrated crew that Rich threw together. I don't know why I have such animosity towards Rich Rodriguez. Is it because I'm just not ready for a Mexican-American NCAA Head Football Coach? I don't think so...You forget sports fans, my grandma was born in Mexico. So, I'm always happy to see the Mexican Man progress. Vive Mexico! Honestly, I think it's just his face... I don't know theres just something with his crooked smile that say's "Hey I'm a Giant Douche please punch me in the face"

Wayne Bass

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Hey guys, I can't keep it a secret anymore. I really don't know anything about playing Fantasy Football. I just wanted you guys to think I was cool. For the last 3 or 4 years I've been just doing what ever Wayne Bass said. It won me a championship one year, but because I became kind of arrogant and pompous I think that last year he was just messing with me to see if I'd still do what ever he said. But honestly, if it wasn't for Wayne Bass helping me out I'm pretty sure you would have kicked me out of the league for sucking...Just like we did to poor ole Justin Greer (he was such a nice guy too). I felt bad because I sat on the board and casted my vote to kick him and others out. I was just glad the attention wasn't on me. Anyways, I just wanted to say...God Bless Wayne Bass...Oh and I think we should find a spot for Rob Warnick in the league for next year. Maybe just on a probationary status for one year.


Thursday, September 30, 2010

Halloween Game Plan

I think I'll be a Baseball Player.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Who Is Robert Leland Freakin' Warnick

I'll tell you who he is...He is one of the raddest dudes you and I know! He stands a six one with a 375 batting average and zero errors in the I Phelta Thi Kick Ball Night. Rockin' Rob has a great jump shot, he's a God on the tennis court, and homeboy can sit down to shoot the breeze about any sport you throw his way. Rob's is currently in a three way tie between Tyler Matlock and Quinn Merrill as Karaoke King.

Now, keep in mind that no one can ever replace a Tyler Matlock as I Phelta Thi V.P. But, Rockin' Rob has served as the Vice President in an AWESOME matter that I feel has earned him a spot in our Fantasy Football League. I know that we currently have 10 guys which makes it an even number, but Rob has wanted a spot on our Fantasy League ever since he got back from his Mission. Honestly, I think that's the whole reason he roomed with me back in Rexburg. What do you guys say? Can we give the guy we all know and love a spot in the League next year?

Here's an insert from a facebook message he recently sent me:

Seatle sucks. They were soundly beaten by the chargers, but luckily pulled it out despite poor coaching by Pete Carroll. I like Atlanta, The Jets, and of course the team that is unquestionably playing the best game in the NFL right now (with a 4th string QB) Pittsburg.

Don't get me started on Cardinals, I hear about them all to much down here in Phoenix....And they suck!! D.A. is a Sh^*#! QB and his replacement (Max Hall (who everybody down here worships because evidently he is a native to these parts)) is even worse.

The kid wants to play, what do you say brethren?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Virginia is for Broncos?

Boise State versus Virginia Tech. They came, they played, and then the game was over. The aftermath is Boise State is 1-0 and that's it. You wont see any hotel reservations in Glendale,AZ under the name of Tom Widdison just yet. Cause lets be honest, I'll probably stay with Quinn if I go down anyways. Oh and that the Broncos still have to play the rest of their schedule too. Mostly that. The win last night was a great one but now more than ever Chris Peterson needs to make sure his team really does just play one game at a time cause one slip up and there is no way you can even talk about them making it into the championship game. As it is now, this win just keeps them in the conversation, and that's it.

I did take a few things away from that game other than if peeing your pants during a game winning drive is cool, then consider me Miles Davis. The biggest thing is that are resilient. They jumped out to a huge lead, then blew it. But they were able to come up with a couple stops and then a huge drive by Moore and ended up winning the game. That's what championship teams are made of. They make plays when they need to and win games. Both teams were sloppy. Hence the 17 point lead and then losing it. Chalk that up to turnovers. But the difference is Boise State made their mistakes when they had time to make up for it. And then made up for it. Plain and simple.
Another thing is Kellen Moore is good. I don't see his game transitioning into the NFL but on the college level he is the man. He makes good decisions and gets rid of the ball quickly. And when it comes down to a do or die drive he has the poise to lead his team to victory. The offensive line played good too. I was impressed with some of the holes for the running game they were able to produce against that defense. But they need to fix the penalties they had. Too many holding and illegal procedure calls.

So now they need to clean up that sloppy play and blow out some WAC teams and then we'll talk. But let this be a lesson to Mark May and all the other Boise State haters, BCS talk aside, this is a great team and can play with anyone despite what conference they are from. So don't take that away from them.

Thursday, September 2, 2010


So, I was pretty glad to hear that Boise State was going to join the MWC. This was good news for the conference and a smart move for BSU. Being in a more competitive conference will give them more credibility, and adding the Boise Boys makes the Mountain West a stronger conference. (SMART MOVE FOR EVERYONE) But, the University of Utah went and messed it up by joining the Pac-10 next year... And, who could hardly blame them? BYU is also leaving the conference, they are going to be an Independent school like Notre Dame. I think that this is a smart move for the Stormin' Mormons. They have to play 4 WAC Schools but the rest of the season is wide open. This will give BYU a better shot at the National Title or a Major Bowl. This also works for them because they have a proven fan base across the United States. It's very likely that TCU will probably get an invite to join the Big 12, and why would the Horned Froggs turn it down? Who will be the other school to join the Big 12? I really want to see Arkansas in the Big 12 North, this would be a good move for them. It would open Texas recruiting and with Nebraska out of the mix it would help develop the Big 12 North as a stronger division. If TCU does join they will most likely join the Big 12 South and so it would be logical to put OK State up in the North. But, the question remains...Why would Arkansas want to leave the SEC? They get the same amount of money Alabama and Vanderbilt get. By joining the Big 12 they only get the big money if they earn it, unlike our socialist neighbors of the SEC. Truth be told Houston is re-vamping their stadium to fit...I think around 90k people? So, with the ability to house that many spectators why wouldn't they also get an invite to be the 12th team. So, with TCU and Houston joining that will probably kick OU and OSU up to the Big 12 north. Anyways, I'm frustrated with musical chairs...Hey congrats to Utah for beating number 15 PITT in the season opener. And, good luck to USC while they are only up at half time over Hawaii by 11 pts. Anyways, its late I'm tired...I'm bummed to find out I don't get to keep Adrian Peterson for this season. But, on the upside FOOTBALLS BACK! By the way if you guys want to come watch ISU play in the Big Sky this year just let me know...I can get us some tickets. Ok, this is like the third time I've tried to end this

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Why I'm Going to Beat You This Year

You probably think I'm going to give some fantasy football secrets out. Nope! I'm just planning on repeating some facts that should help you come to the same conclusion that I have come to.

1. I'm getting A.P. again
2. Zach Gibson hasn't been good at Fantasy Football since Ought Seven
3. Dating all the way back to the foundation of the I Phelta Thi league no one has ever repeated a championship, so Thome's out
4. Ryan DeCoria has just gotten married...I'm pretty sure he's going to be blinded by a new love just like our friend Brent Cook...So they are both out!
5. Joe Strickland is dating someone (a girl this time) and even though he claims he'll pay attention, I don't really believe it. I've seen her on Facebook...Trust me boys Joe's attention will be elsewhere.
6. Then there's Dan Bird... I don't think anyone's ever said "oh crap! I have to play Dan this week" :) jk if your reading (YOUR DA MAN DAN)
7. Tyler Matlock...He's a coach and a dad!!! Where is he going to find the time?
8. Quinn andTeam Boo...lets just say that I'm really not that worried about either one of them
9. Oh yeah and I'm getting A.P. again this year

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Enough is Enough!

I’m healthy, I can play and there are teams out there that had interest, but they just didn’t need. They wanted me, but they didn’t need me. I’m not a player than can play by just wanting to play the game. I’m a guy that needs to win, and they go hand in hand . . . So please, understand when I say this. I’m not retiring. I am graduating. Today is my graduation day.”
~Junior Seau (who signed four days later with the New England Patriots)
No disrespect intended to Mr. Seau or his incredible career with the Chargers and Dolphins. After a couple of decent years with the Patriots an aging Seau retired again . . . then came out of retirement again. After the Patriots loss to the Ravens in the playoffs last year, Junior announced that it was his last game. But he still hasn't officially retired and is listed as an NFL Free Agent.

Why is it so hard for him to hang it up?

When Dan Marino was asked why he decided to retire, he may have summed up the feelings that many elite athletes experience as they get older:
"That is a good question. Boy, I really struggled with this. This has been the toughest month of my life as far as dealing with playing football or retiring. After the season, I pretty much thought that I was not going to play anymore and I felt that way for a while and I think it was because of the physical aspects of the game.
It kept coming back to how my legs felt during last season, going through the neck injury; not knowing whether I was going to be able to throw the football, and family reasons also, but Claire and the kids, they were great. They wanted me to play, to be honest with you. Really, it was my decision, a family decision and a health decision.
Marino later admitted that despite having established his legacy and having played his entire career with the Dolphins, he seriously considered an offer to lead the offense of the Minnesota Vikings.
Steve Young personally visited with Mike Shanahan and the Denver Broncos to listen to their offer soon after his retirement from the 49ers. Reggie White un-retired to spend a mediocre final season with the Carolina Panthers and the list goes on and on of players who have struggled with or even flip-flopped on the decision to call it quits.

Part of what made these guys great is that the the concept of quitting is foreign to them. While they know their physical skills are on the decline, their understanding of the game grows each year.
Deep down I think every one of them feels like if they got in the right situation with enough talent around them, they could go out like Elway, hoisting a SuperBowl MVP trophy in their final game. That's what they've played for their whole career, after dedicating countless days, weeks, months and years focused on winning a title, it's tough to decide it doesn't matter any more.
As an admittedly biased green and gold bleeding Packers fan, I bring this up as we have again arrived in Brett Favre season for the media.

You don't hear ESPN blasting guys like Derrick Mason for waffling about retirement because when it comes down to it, he could probably fly to The Moon and back and a story on him still isn't going to get the ratings as any text message or quote attributed to Brett Favre, Tim Tebow, Tiger Woods, Lebron, Kobe, Shaq, Terrell Owens, OchoCinco, etc. etc.
So while baseball season still has another month before it gets exciting, and with nothing noteworthy going on in basketball (or hockey or soccer, for what it's worth), the sports networks have latched on to the stories that will bring in the viewership and with that, the ever so important advertising dollars, by pissing and moaning about Brett.

The Vikings knew what they were getting when they signed Favre. An all-time elite quarterback in the twilight of his career whose body is breaking down and who is having a hard time deciding if the physical grind of practice is worth the sheer enjoyment of playing the game he loves each Sunday.
You don't hear the Minnesota coaches, players, or management complaining. Even the Viking fans are just begging and hoping for one more year to witness one of the all-time greats.

And yet the media feels that Brett owes them a direct answer, that he has no right to text his teammates about his situation without holding a press conference and telling all the reporters right now what his exact intentions are.
So they hurry and write stories calling him out as an attention whore.
Because they know a story with Favre's picture will get more clicks than a look inside the Atlanta Falcons training camp.

Get over yourself ESPN, FoxSports, and every other sports network out there! Yeah the guy doesn't want to go to training camp. Give him a break, all he did after missing camp last year was throw for 4,202 yards with 33 touchdowns and only 7 interceptions in his 18th season as a starter!
I did a little research to see how many quarterbacks in the history of the NFL had thrown over 30 TD's with less than 10 INT's in a season. Joe Montana never did, neither did John Elway, Dan Marino, Steve Young or Kurt Warner.
Drew Brees never has, and Tom Brady and Peyton Manning each have once. Sure the rules of the game are more aerial friendly than they have been in the past, but doesn't change the fact that the only other QB who hit the 30 TD benchmark with less than 10 picks last year was the man who replaced Brett in Green Bay, my guy Aaron Rodgers. (Man it's good to be a Packers fan!)
Not only that, but Brett Favre, the winner of 3 consecutive MVP's, the man many people believed was past his prime and whined should have hung it up 5 years ago, achieved career highs in QB rating (107.2) and completion percentage (68.4).

More importantly, Favre led Minnesota to a 13-3 record and their first playoff victory in five years. He carried the Vikings on his back within 3 points of the Super Bowl. And yeah he threw the final interception in the NFC Championship in a desperate situation because of a stupid penalty, but if that's all you take away from that game, then you missed something special.
What I saw was the ol' graybeard absorbing shot after shot (including a dirty high-low that would've warranted a lifetime suspension had it even been attempted on Tom Brady) and just picking himself up and keeping his team in a game they had no business being in after all the fumbles and pressure applied by a very good Saints team. A man who had already been to two SuperBowls doing everything to get to just one more, until he could do no more.So if that's the last game I ever see you play in, thanks for the memories Brett. I can now go back to hating the Vikings and hoping to see Green Bay bring the Lombardi Trophy back home. If not, then you know I'm pulling for you to win it all this year and go out like Elway did. Either way, I'm still throwing on my #4 Packers jersey after church every Sunday from September - January.

Friday, August 6, 2010

What the heck is this? Russia?

Okay NCAA, this is getting out of hand. OK I get it, you want to make sure that you keep the student in the student athlete. I agree, but you know you are making millions and millions of dollars off of them so I think you need to relax a little on the punishments to the schools.
But this is absolutely uncalled for. A Boise State recruit was killed in a car accident. But due to the fact that he hadn't signed his letter of intent yet Boise state was unable to say or do anything about his funeral. They had to act like they had never heard of him before. What is up with that? Seriously? They couldn't even send flowers! How would this affect anything? I don't want to sound insensitive here but the dude is dead! You're not trying to buy his loyalty so he wont go to another school! And not one school will file a complaint because they feel that this gave Boise State a competitive advantage over them. So NCAA get your act together and realize that your rules are outdated and need to be looked at. And sometimes an exception to the rule is actually the right thing to do.

Monday, August 2, 2010

What the Heck Is This? Russia?!?!

Hello my fellow fantasy footballar friends,

I have a question which I have ran by the commissioner and he informed me that I need to get a majority to follow this idea to get it passed. We currently have it where if we want to make a trade we have to wait to see if it's ok with everyone else. I understand the reasoning, it's to keep people from stacking their team when other managers come to the realization that their team won't make the playoff's. example: Trading Chris Johnson for Tim Tebow, or for a kicker in week 10

I think that with the group of guys that we have, we really don't need to regulate eachother or have to worry about with BS trades...I mean I don't think that anyone wants to get suspended for the next season. We talked about this a little last year and a really good point that was made was. "If MAC and MICROSOFT want to make a business deal they don't have to wait until IBM say's that they are ok with it.

The major reason I want to get rid of the current waiting period is because I want the new player on my roster the moment the two managers feel confident about the trade. Come on men, together we can make this happen!

Friday, July 23, 2010

What Do You Think Is This Kid A Catholic or A Convict...Probably Both!

So I watched this documentary a couple months ago about the University of Miami. And, man they super league sucked for a great number of years. They were trying desperately just to fill the stadium and in an attempt to fill said stadium if you bought a Big Mac in Miami you could get free tickets to the game. They thought that maybe Division I Football was too much for The University of Miami, because they lost all the time and no one wants to support a losing team. The University thought that they'd try one more option and that was to get a new coach with a big name and his name was Howard Schnellenberge. Coach Schnellenberge almost turned it down because he had other options offered him.

He decided to take the job. The first thing that Coach Schnellenberge did was he started recruiting down in the ghettos. No one had really done that before, and he filled a team with a bunch of gang bangers with speed. And, their style of play falls under the grounds of un-sportsman-like conduct. In fact many of the un-sportsman-like conduct and excessive celebration rules that we have today is a result from the 1980's Hurricanes Football Teams.

Sure enough in just 4 years the Miami Hurricanes went from almost being dropped down to Division I-AA to National Champs. They went on to win two more titles during that decade. One of the other powers of that decade was the Fighting Irish of ND. Because, Miami had recruited not really student athletes but thugs and the folks out of South Bend religious affiliation. This rivalry had been titled Catholics vs. Convicts, and make no mistake for a couple of the non-conference meetings the winner of this game pretty much determined the National Champ for that season.

I bring this up simply because in 2012 the two teams will meet on the gridiron again... When Butch Davis came on the scene his job was to clean up the convict image and they haven't won a National Title since. Perhaps with sales of Catholic vs Convicts tee-shirts already hitting the market the Hurricanes will win another National Championship...Lord only knows it will probably happen before Notre Dame wins another one.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Big Game Bob?

Program Savior

No one can disrespect what Bob Stoops has done for the Sooner program. He has an outstanding win-loss percentage, a multitude of Big 12 Titles, and a phenomenal number of appearances in BCS bowls. In 11 years, Oklahoma has only lost two games at Gaylord Family - Oklahoma Memorial Stadium by a combined 6 points (to TCU and Oklahoma State, respectively). Bob Stoops will likely go down as one of the greatest coaches in college football history. I don't know how many coaches have had as much success in their entire life as Bob did from 2000-2010, but I'm guessing probably only a select few. He has restored greatness to a proud program that has again become a breeding ground for NFL talent.

Boomer Sooners Already Peaked? (downside of the pinnacle, summit, apex, golden climax)

The question I bring up today is, have we seen the best already? For a coach who has already been to the top, is there any way to go up? Or is it all down hill from here?

As much as OU has dominated the Big 12 since Coach Stoops' arrival, their record when matching up with other conferences in bowl games over the last 7 years has been . . . well, dismal. Yes they've been playing in big games against high ranked opponents and it is an accomplishment just getting that far, but has anyone else fared as poorly in big games recently? I don't know if I've ever heard as much hate for a conference as the Big 10 or as much disdain for a team as I did for Ohio State for their miserable performances in consecutive national championship games, but have they been any worse than the Big 12 champs?

The Mike Stoops Factor

Late in 2003, Bob's brother and defensive coordinator Mike left Oklahoma to become the head man for the University of Arizona Wildcats. Following the younger Stoops' departure, the Sooners were utterly dominated in the Big 12 Championship by Kansas State. Despite the pounding they took in the conference championship, OU was still selected over USC to play in the B(C)S Championship, and then lost to LSU.

Over the next 6 years Oklahoma won 2 bowl games. Two.

Yes, two.

The first win was a 3 point victory gained over the Oregon Ducks off a Brady Leaf interception. The other was a come-from-behind 4 point win over Stanford in the Holiday Bowl. Yes that is the same Stanford that hadn't been to a bowl game since 2001. Sure the Cardinal had a nice season going 6-3 in conference play in a down year for the PAC-10, but this was hardly a program defining victory for Oklahoma. Ok, I get that Sam Bradford and Jermaine Gresham were out for that game and were replaced by their 5 star recruit backups who had played the whole season in their places, but why couldn't a team that had 2 of the top 4 picks of the NFL Draft playing in their last college game display a little more dominance?

I digress, a win is a win and I won't scrutinize the Sooners any more for the times they took care of business. But let's talk a little about the losses. Three and a half years later, OU apologists are still throwing out excuses for the loss to Boise State, but never mention the performance in the BCS bowls the year before or the year after. Out of all the BCS bowls, most experts expected the biggest blowout in January 2008 to be Oklahoma over West Virginia. The Sooners were one of the most sure fire bets for college pick 'em that year. The result? West Virginia 48, Oklahoma 28, a 20-point loss.

It's not only the performance in bowl games that has taken a dive in since Mike Stoops left town. OU owned Texas in the Red River Shootout from 2000-2004, but has only beat the Longhorns once since then. I'm not going to definitely say that Mike is the reason, but if Arizona is able to win a couple of PAC-10 titles in the next few years, that may become the universally accepted theory.

So . . .

What's going on? Has Oklahoma become the San Diego Chargers of college football? Great regular seasons, but not able to get it done when it counts? Is Bob going to gain back the "Big Game" title? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Who In The World Do You Think You Are?

Pat Haden has been appointed the new AD at USC... Ok, it's true that the former AD should have had better control over his program...But, this Pat guy is coming in and his first line of business is to return the Heisman Trophy that Reggie had earned because it's bad for USC's new image...Oh! And, they are going to scrub the Reggie's #5 Jersey off the wall? What a douche!

This is just a cheap PR trick trying to put the focus on Reggie Bush and off of the program...I mean come it's not like he killed his wife and the dude she was bangin'. (By the way OJ's heisman is still sitting pretty there in USC trophy case) Honestly, have we ever heard of Reggie getting fightin' Irish drunk, getting in fights, shooting himself in the leg, raping girls in Georgia Bars, drug abuse? The answer is NO! We haven't! Up until lately the only negative thing you've ever heard about Reggie Bush is that he hasn't lived up to his college hype.

I wonder if USC really wants to separate it's self from the contributions of Reggie Bush does that mean that the University will give back all the money he made for them? Not to mention the money that will be made by future recruits who worshiped Reggie as a kid and want to come to play where Reggie Bush played...

To sum up my rant, who in the world does Pat Haden think he is? Get off your high horse, I mean honestly you act like Reggie just ran over your dog or something. USC needs to just put it behind them and win more game and stop putting all the blame on a kid who just wanted to give his family a better house in a safer neighborhood and the money... What 18 year old would turn down that kind of cash if they were promised that no one would find out? Would you?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Boise State vs Virginia Tech

I don't care.

No one that happens to not be on the Bronco Bandwagon does.

However, when there are articles like this it's easy, very easy, to root against someone because of the incredible cockiness.


---Coach Matlock---

Friday, July 9, 2010

Infinite Pool of Jealousy

The title of this post is what those who hate Lebron James' recent move to Miami swim in on the weekend. Well, I guess I swim in that pool too but I guess I'm just in on the shallow end because I can't believe the way people are getting fired up about this. There has been discussion in the I Phelta Thi Sports Nation about this topic of which I was not made part due to my voluntary isolation from civilized society. But it has come to my attention that for the most part we are on the same page.

The gist of the story is this; Lebron James did his job. In fact he did it very well. Well enough in fact that he was awarded the Most Valuable Player Award and awarded many bonus payouts for such successes from the Cleveland Cavaliers. And then the contract he said he would fulfill expired. One becomes a FREE AGENT after your contract expires, making you FREE to go wherever you like. Lebron chose to go Miami. BIG FREAKING DEAL!!!

I don't think Lebron has anything against Cleveland, other than it being Cleveland of course, and oh yeah, IT'S NOT MIAMI!! Cleveland is the 5 who manages to make out with an 8 but then gets pissed when the 8 realizes what he's done and doesn't call said 5 back the next day. Miami is the 8 (possibly 9, but not 10 because 10's don't make mistakes like that), Cleveland is the 5. Don't be pissed Cleveland. You can always make out with Anderson Varejao's hair.

Don't get me started on how Lebron tainted his legacy. Writers are obsessed with celebrities tarnishing their legacies by doing stupid things. They hold everyone to a faux-holy status that was set by someone who happened to set that standard. For example, Michael Jordan was the best ever and he played for one team his whole career. Therefore, all great players must play with one team. Horsefish. Just because it's been done that way before doesn't mean it has to be done that way forever. Using that illogical logic you could assume that Jordan didn't rape anyone and that's how it should be for you to be great and win championships. Well, Kobe shot that theory down, didn't he?

Look, I'm not going to by a Miami Lebron jersey, heck I didn't have a Cleveland one. But I will tune in and watch the first Heat game of the season....AS WILL THE REST OF THE COUNTRY!! Even those in Cleveland will watch it hoping he breaks a leg. And the NBA, the Miami Heat, and every invested interest will be laughing all the way back.

There may also be some basketball played in Miami next season too. If someone wants to complain about James going to the Heat and having to compete with Wade and Bosch for points and highlights, now that's a discussion I could have and still respect you. It will be interesting to see play out.

----Coach Matlock----

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Top Ten Cool Sports Names

I figure that eventually someone will do a top ten list on this blog. So I might as well be the first. So, without further adieu, I give you the Top Ten Cool Sports Names!

10. Usain Bolt - Bolt is the man's last name and he's a sprinter. Lightning is fast. So is he.

9. Shaquille O'Neal - Names that rhyme are just plain cool. His nickname of Shaq is pretty cool because it takes a shoddy piece of construction (a shack) and changes it's spelling to a Q instead of a CK. Dang. I wish I could do that with my name.

8. Bill Romanowski - This is the epitome of cool football names. I feel like I just got my bell rung by saying his name. Talk about tough.

7. Tiger Woods - It'd be cooler if his name was Lyger Woods. Lygers are cooler than tigers and would win in a sword fight.

6. Dirk Nowiski - The man's name is Dirk. There's something to be said about one syllable names and European last names and kicking A.

5. Mookie Blaylock - Remember this guy? He was never a huge basketball star but had a solid career throughout the 90's. He was tough because his name was Mookie and he had to defend it and I guess he won.

4. Coco Crisp - The man's name makes me hungry for omelets. You may have thought it would make me hungry for breakfast cereal but it doesn't.

3. Satchel Paige - His first name is another word for Purse. I'm glad his mom went with Satchel instead of Purse.

2. Knowshon Moreno - I don't know Sean but I know of Sean.

1. Yogi Berra - No I did not say Yogi Bear steals pickanick baskets. I said Yogi Berra was an amazing baseball player.

****Criteria for making my list****
1. The only criteria for making my list is that I had to find it sufficiently cool. Anybody have any other suggestions? Also, this list is not exclusive. There are probably other cool names out there.

---Coach Matlock---

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Oh Soccer How I Do Hate Thee

So, this picture is really mean, but holy cow I laughed pretty hard when I first saw it. So, your probably thinking that I'm gonna piss and moan about Ghana beating the United States, but I will not simply because I do not care! To be honest with you I'm glad that the United States is out of it, hopefully now we can focus on other things of more importance. Like the upcoming football season.

A lot of these soccer fans when trying to convince me that soccer is cool do this by trying to talk down on the sport that I love FOOTBALL...

Reasoning Number One People Give Me: Soccer is the most popular sport in the world! John Bytheway said: "If 100,000 people agree with a dumb idea, it is still a dumb idea!" Also, a majority of the worlds christian population is Catholic...Does that mean that the Catholic Church is the one church who got it right? Simply because they have more of a following?

Reasoning Number Two: In American Football they play for a little bit then take a break, get in their huddle catch their breath, make another quick plan and then play again. Stop and go stop and go. Soccer is more physically demanding because they are continually running and have to be in better shape. Therefore, soccer should be watched more. If that theory is true, and that is what makes a sport better then cross country runners would be hailed as kings.

Honestly those are the only two reasons I have ever heard of why I should like soccer. But, do you want to know why I don't like soccer:

1) It's because it's FLIPPIN' BORING.
2) When I was on my mission I spent two years listening to all the Latinos brag about how they are sooooo much better at
soccer then we are in America.
3) I feel that it's less diversified as far as the different skills needed for the team to win.
4) Making a goal is like getting a Willy Wonka golden ticket.
5) A solid winner is not always defined
7) It's the poster sport for communism
8) Real Big Fish had a song titled "Sell Out" and in the chorus they sang "radio plays what they want you to hear, tell me it's
cool" I feel that for some reason Sports Center is trying to do the samn dame thing.
9) I feel like soccer is being pushed on me to like

Friday, June 25, 2010


So I've been watching a lot of the world cup lately and I have to admit, I'm kind of liking it. That game the other day when Landon Donavon won it in the 91st minute was amazing. I was at work and I'm pretty sure no one was doing actual work for at lest 10 minutes or so. All that mattered was that soccer game, it was awesome!
But here is the deal, there are still things I hate about soccer. And it stems from the fact that it seems that the don't want anyone to feel bad about losing so they make it hard to lose. How many games have ended in 0-0 ties this world cup? Several, and that's an exact number! Or as I was watching it today the showed the Spanish national team walking in and the said and I quote "they entered the tournament as co-favorites" Listen, either you are the favorite or you are not. None of this Co favorite crap. Here in America we don't share our favorites, and we don't end in ties. We play extra innings until someone can score even if we go to 20. Or tennis games that can go 9 plus hours! We play sudden death overtime, ya that's right next one to score wins! sure if the 15 minutes are up and its a regular season game it ends in a tie but technically its at the end of "sudden death" so its not really a tie cause both teams are dead.......suddenly. AND that's the only way we allow ties here, and that's if both parties are dead! Only excuse!
So come on soccer, get with the times. Communism is dead and winning is in.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Man It Feels Good To Be A Gangster!

So, the boys in the neighborhood are always "hard." If you come talking that "trash" then we will be left with no choice but to "pull your car" knowing nothing in life but to be legitimate, please don't quote me boy because I have yet to say... I bet you didn't know that I am pretty gangster myself. Did you? As hard as I roll I am just a "poser" in comparison to the poster boy for Machiavelli's book The Prince. Look at this kid, he's only like 14 years old and he's already wearing a Doo rag, representing Western Europe by flashing Westsiiiiiiiide! It's like he doesn't even care who knows. Golly, he's like the super thug of the 15th Century.

If you think about it the Princes and Kings from back in the day are really the first Gang Bangers. I believe the street term is O.G. Think about it they got their posse that you do not want to mess with. They have their coat of arms which is now called gang colors, and they are all about protecting their turf and gaining new lands. Oh they are all about keeping up their rep, and ain't nobody gonna disrespect on them. And, last of all they all have their pimped out carriages. Crusin' slow as to impress the girls.

I bring up The Prince because I think that Machiavelli is really on to something and this is an amazing book on how to gain and maintain power. (This book is heavily endorsed by Dwight Schrute) Sadly, Dan Beebe, the commissioner of the Big 12 Conference has never read this book, because if he had then one of the Nations strongest conferences wouldn't be crumbling through his fingers as we speak.

This post is dedicated to outlining the Machiavellian principles on how to seize power and then retain it this time Dan! Now, just like how Machiavelli wrote this book to get on the Medici Families good graces, I'm pointing these concepts out so that hopefully Commissioner Beebe will be so pleased with me that perhaps he would appoint me to be the new AD at lets say umm...Baylor?

FIRST CONCEPT: Machiavelli outlines the different principalities and so in the interest of time I'll just tell you what principality I think the Big 12 falls under. And, that is Hereditary which is a power that has been obtained by fortune or ability. In 1928 the Big 8 was formed and the conference had immediate success sending teams to the prestigious Orange Bowl... In the 90's when Arkansas left the South West Conference for the South East Conference it had been rumored that Oklahoma would leave the Big 8 and join the SWC. What happened instead was the remaining four Texas schools joined the Big 8 and became the Big 12. Power was obtained by fortune and ability. The fortune came from that Texas oil $$$$ and the ability came from the Big 8's winning percentage.

SECOND CONCEPT: Is it better to be loved or feared? Because people will either love or hate their ruler, Machiavelli say's both! But, if they only love you then they will turn on you the second they think they love someone else more. If they only love you and don't fear you then they will have no problem stabbing you in the back, because they know that you can't or won't do anything about it. A perfect example of this is all the promises of TV riches from the Big Ten, Nebraska didn't even batt an eye. But, if the rulers subjects only fear with no love then that fear will turn to hate and you'll have a revolt on your hands. What a ruler really needs to concern himself with is maintaining control. This is done by having strict guidelines and rules. Think about it if The Big 12 had strict rules and guidelines for treason then Colorado would have thought twice about even talking to the Pac 10 after seeing what happened to Nebraska.

THIRD CONCEPT: Dan Beebe has announced that the Big 12 will not be expanding the conference. I think that's a bad idea, I feel that you have to replace the two open spots and then strike again before you get struck. Trust me when I say that the Pac 10 isn't done with expansion. If Notre Dame rejects the Big Ten's offer then I guarantee that they'll come gunning for Missouri. Machiavelli outlines that for a ruler to acquire states is based on his own powers is a very difficult way to obtain new lands but once obtained it's easier to maintain. Right now the Big Ten and Pac 10 had gotten their newly acquired states not by their own powers but by good fortune of noble birth, inheritance, or lucky circumstance. (TV BUCKS) Those are good ways of obtaining but as far as maintaining is way more difficult.

LAST CONCEPT: If the ends justify the means then do what it takes to see your kingdom succeed. Meaning that Nephi can lie to Zoram, and in essence steal the plates...Oh, he also killed Laban because it is better that one man should parish rather then an entire nation dwindle in unbelief. So, to Commissioner Beebe you do what it takes to expand your turf. You get two big name schools to come to the Big 12 North. I don't care how you do it, just get it done!

You follow these concepts and your conference will still be around in the next 5,10, 50 years, shoot forever.

Peace - Wayne Bass

What More Can Be Said?

Mark Tensmeyer posted this on my facebook and I just couldn't say it any better myself.

Monday, June 21, 2010

I Propose.......

........that the College World Series is one of sports best kept secrets. I have long been a believer that college sport is better than professional sport. Don't get all up in my face about there being more talent in the pros than college. That's obvious and I don't care about it. There's more talent in the MLB than the Little League World Series but which would I rather watch? Who wants to win more? D - Jete and the Crankees or the 12 yr olds whose entire life depends on winning? That brings me back to my original point. The College World Series is one of sports best kept secrets. It has a very high level of ability as most of the players have already been drafted but chose to get better and play in college. They aren't perfect, they mess up, and they're raw. They are working to get better and improve themselves. You should watch the College World Series instead of the World Cup. They play until someone wins.

- Later -

The Coach
PS - The University of Oklahoma Sooners are playing in the College World Series. They're good at more than one sport.

PPS - They have cool dog piles at the College World Series.

Friday, June 18, 2010

A Word From the Coach

Ok. So I did get left out of the name of the blog. That's because I got left out of the blog. But that's probably because I don't talk to any of my friends. But they remembered how much we used to talk sports and I ended up being included. But hey, it's OK, I'm just like Tim Tebow in the NFL, I'm just happy to be here! I have a couple takes on a couple sports bits this summer.

Take #1 - People who hate Kobe Bryant are Robin Hood wanna be communist scum taking from the strong and giving to the poor. They would rather the BEST PLAYER IN THE LEAGUE (today for sure) fail so that the weaker specimen can win. Who in this survival of the fittest world would want that besides your boy President O-B-Boy??? Kobe is the best and he deserves championships because he earns them. People, listen up, don't hate greatness because it's great. Embrace greatness because it doesn't come around very often.

Take #2 - With all due respect, Boyzee State fans are the most confused fan base in the world which results in them either looking like idiots or being idiots. Congratulations. You've done really well in one sport. And by really well I mean you've never won a Div. 1 National Championship in that sport and you've beat up on weak teams in that sport. Should I mention their prowess at other sports? Oh wait, what? Unless they have a really good underwater basket weaving team, I'm pretty sure their bragging rights hinge upon a handful of Not-National-Championship seasons and a couple not Heisman nominee players. But don't get me wrong, I don't blame the players. Boyzee does it's very best with it's PAC-28leftovers. They better watch out now that the Utts are actually in the PAC 12 and will get the PAC 17 leftovers ahead of them.

Take #3 - Socker is not popular in the US because we will never be sufficiently entertained with a whole day of ties. Remember the first day of group play last week? Boring. And hey, this is coming from a guy who can actually sit through 5-10 minutes of socker at a time.

Take #4 - The Spelling Bee and Poker are very entertaining but ESPN spends too much time broadcasting them when they could be broadcasting retro SportsCenter reruns. Think about it. Would it not be awesome to watch a SportsCenter from the Bird-Johnson days. Or watch any other episode that aired after any historic sporting event. ESPN Classic is cool for games and documentaries but so much time is wasted on showing things that aren't even sports.

Those are my takes. Like 'em. Love 'em. Hate 'em. Enjoy 'em.

Peace - The Coach

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Fantasy Pointers

You know what I like about this blog? well besides its my ticket to becoming an ESPN Sports center anchor(da da da, da da da) I can talk about sports all I want and you HAVE to listen. Ahahahahaha.

Ahem, excuse me. Back to business.

If there is one thing that I love to talk about its me, I mean Fantasy Football. I can talk all day about it. I love talking about it so much that if I hear strangers talking about it I get into their conversations and proceed go off about why I think this person is good or why this person is going to have a terrible season. So now that we have this blog I'm going to talk just about fantasy football at least once a week(but not limited to).

So the biggest thing right now is preparing for the draft. This will make or break your season. If you draft horribly then you have no shot. If you draft okay then you have a chance with some good free agent pickups but you'll have to hit those perfect. If you knock it out of the park on your draft then you are in good shape. But you still have to be good with free agents and adjustments during the season.

OK so Thome's fantasy football tip of the day today is draft around bye weeks. That's right, I draft players according to bye weeks. That's not the only reason but it is a step in the process. The reason I do this is I don't want both my qb's on bye the same week. That's the main reason you have a second qb, is for that bye week. Or if both of your running backs are on bye the same week then you might as well bench all your players and rest them that week cause you're not winning. Well okay you still might but your chances are severely reduced. So go to and print out their top 100 fantasy players list. It has what week their byes are on it and use that to help prepare your draft. Trust me, as you plan around your bye weeks you'll have a lot less headaches come Week 4.

(Thome Widdison has been the fantasy football editor at The BBQ and Joe blog spot since its inception. He was the 2009 I Phelta Thi champion, 2009 something something league champion, 2007 I Phelta Thi league runner up. Some of his other awards are the 2008 Joe Strickland award, the most points scored in a game and a Grammy.)

The Utards

So it looks like Utah is going to go to the Pac 10. And I don't blame them. I mean if Boise St. had the chance I would want them to do it in a second. I mean its like when Tom Brady left Bridgette Monahan for Gisele. Sure Bridgette(Mountain West Conference) is very pretty and just added a new baby(Boise St.) but come on...Its freaking Gisele(a BCS conference), why wouldn't you leave.
But here is the only issue I have with Utah leaving. The last couple of years they have been complaining very openly about how unfair the BCS system is. Even going as far as getting the Governor and the senators involved and talking about anti-trust issues. Saying that even though they are a non BCS school they should have a shot to play for a national championship. And how they don't need a BCS conference to be competitive. Here's the deal, this is just like a dude that his buddies are hanging out with girls and he gets jealous. Starts really promoting the whole Bros before Hoes mantra. Even convinces a couple of his buddies to dump their girls and then before you know it some girl comes along and catches his eye and you never see him again. You can't blame him for it cause its better for him but you find it funny that he forgot about Bros before Hoes so quickly. But its cool Utah. Its cool. I would have done it too, cause that Pac 10 is looking real good now. And you all know how big of sucker I am for a hot blonde(Lane Kiffen).

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Pete Carroll said that he was the Head Coach, but even at that he has no control over what Alumni do. I think that if this really is that big of a deal then USC losing the 2004 National Championship, losing 30 scholarships over the next three years, and no post season games is good enough... DON'T TAKE REGGIE'S TROPHY!

Thome Widdison has pointed out that the NCAA is simply a modern form of slavery. And you know what that kid is right! In the olden days of slavery the slave owner would provide the housing and food, but they would pay no money. The slave owners had profited a great deal from their labors, kind of like how the NCAA, the University, and a lot of other people directly and indirectly benefit in this modern day form of slavery.

So, if the NCAA doesn't want the Alumni paying to get the best to come to their school then taking away National Championships and losing scholarships and no bowl games is a super strong message to send that they are not messing around. To take away the Heisman Trophy is unnecessary. This punishes the young athlete and not the fan.

I think that Kunta Kinte would freakin' flip out if he found out that this is still happening today! And, if an athlete is able to provide better living conditions for his family and pocket a cool three grand, then who cares? These young men should be getting paid anyways...The conference makes millions a year off of them.

Also, I was thinking about how Lane Kiffin will be able to keep his job for at least 5 years...The first three he can blame on the sanctions of the NCAA, but if he doesn't bring it back to at least close to where Pete had them, he might be looking for a new job. But, lets be honest how hard is it to recruit in Sunny California? 70 degree weather year round, learn to surf, and the girls DON'T FORGET THE GIRLS.... If you can't win at USC then you ain't trying, unless you've lost 30 scholarships over three years and no chance to go to any bowl for the next two years. Basically your on the clock Kiffin.

Peace- Wayne Bass

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Yahoo!!! So, I'm super physiced that the Big 12 will stay alive... I really felt confident that the conference was dead, but that's just not so. With Colorado and Nebraska leaving for the Pac 10 and the Big Ten they can all rot in a lesser degree of glory as far as I'm concerned.

So, right now the Big 12 only has 10 schools, if Boise State hadn't just joined the Mountain West I would say that the solution is a simple one. We'll just take Utah and BYU, but that would weaken the MWC to not quite to the WAC but it would weaken it and I really don't want to see that happen.

What I would like to see happen is if we could reach an agreement for Notre Dame to join the Big 12 instead of them joining those Poaching Bastards of the Big Ten who has been whining and dinning the Fighting Irish. The SEC hasn't done anything to warrant any attacks, but if the University of Arkansas wanted to come and kick it in the Big 12 North I wouldn't be upset at that idea.

I would also like to see the Pac 10 take a hit some how... Perhaps we could persuade the Arizona schools to join the Big 12 We'll make it The Big 14... I hate the idea of not having a conference championship game, but it is cool to play everyone in the conference each year. So, I guess both have benefits, but I would rather see a conference championship game.

All and all I am a happy camper!

Peace- Wayne Bass