So I've been watching a lot of the world cup lately and I have to admit, I'm kind of liking it. That game the other day when Landon Donavon won it in the 91st minute was amazing. I was at work and I'm pretty sure no one was doing actual work for at lest 10 minutes or so. All that mattered was that soccer game, it was awesome!
But here is the deal, there are still things I hate about soccer. And it stems from the fact that it seems that the don't want anyone to feel bad about losing so they make it hard to lose. How many games have ended in 0-0 ties this world cup? Several, and that's an exact number! Or as I was watching it today the showed the Spanish national team walking in and the said and I quote "they entered the tournament as co-favorites" Listen, either you are the favorite or you are not. None of this Co favorite crap. Here in America we don't share our favorites, and we don't end in ties. We play extra innings until someone can score even if we go to 20. Or tennis games that can go 9 plus hours! We play sudden death overtime, ya that's right next one to score wins! sure if the 15 minutes are up and its a regular season game it ends in a tie but technically its at the end of "sudden death" so its not really a tie cause both teams are dead.......suddenly. AND that's the only way we allow ties here, and that's if both parties are dead! Only excuse!
So come on soccer, get with the times. Communism is dead and winning is in.
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Here's my solution, eliminate the goalies and prop the nets up on a crossbar. Give the players some pads so you don't have to worry about Yellowcard and their violin based pop rock every time somebody gets hit. Make the ball more pointy on two ends and brown and give it some laces. Allow players to use their hands and give them 4 downs to gain 10 yards and 6 points when they pass the other team's goal line. Throw in a little pointless commentary by John Madden and THEN, you have yourself a game worth watching.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like Madden 95 for Sega Genesis. It's not a soccer game though. It's a football game. Nice try Quinn.
ReplyDeleteI hate soccer! The only time I've watched it has been at the plasma center. When Ezra Taff Benson was Sectary of Agriculture he was giving Khrushchev a tour of good ole American Farms and Khrushchev said:
ReplyDelete"We can't expect the American People to jump from Capitalism to Communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving them small doses of Socialism, until they awaken one day to find that they have Communism."
And, that is what is happening with this steady American acceptance of Soccer...
I know that I have shared this before but my high school football coach once told a german foreign exchange student that "Only two type of people play soccer, and that's Communist and girly boys. And, you won't find either one in Vinita Oklahoma!"