Sunday, June 27, 2010

Oh Soccer How I Do Hate Thee

So, this picture is really mean, but holy cow I laughed pretty hard when I first saw it. So, your probably thinking that I'm gonna piss and moan about Ghana beating the United States, but I will not simply because I do not care! To be honest with you I'm glad that the United States is out of it, hopefully now we can focus on other things of more importance. Like the upcoming football season.

A lot of these soccer fans when trying to convince me that soccer is cool do this by trying to talk down on the sport that I love FOOTBALL...

Reasoning Number One People Give Me: Soccer is the most popular sport in the world! John Bytheway said: "If 100,000 people agree with a dumb idea, it is still a dumb idea!" Also, a majority of the worlds christian population is Catholic...Does that mean that the Catholic Church is the one church who got it right? Simply because they have more of a following?

Reasoning Number Two: In American Football they play for a little bit then take a break, get in their huddle catch their breath, make another quick plan and then play again. Stop and go stop and go. Soccer is more physically demanding because they are continually running and have to be in better shape. Therefore, soccer should be watched more. If that theory is true, and that is what makes a sport better then cross country runners would be hailed as kings.

Honestly those are the only two reasons I have ever heard of why I should like soccer. But, do you want to know why I don't like soccer:

1) It's because it's FLIPPIN' BORING.
2) When I was on my mission I spent two years listening to all the Latinos brag about how they are sooooo much better at
soccer then we are in America.
3) I feel that it's less diversified as far as the different skills needed for the team to win.
4) Making a goal is like getting a Willy Wonka golden ticket.
5) A solid winner is not always defined
7) It's the poster sport for communism
8) Real Big Fish had a song titled "Sell Out" and in the chorus they sang "radio plays what they want you to hear, tell me it's
cool" I feel that for some reason Sports Center is trying to do the samn dame thing.
9) I feel like soccer is being pushed on me to like

1 comment:

  1. You forgot a few.

    #11. Soccer promotes homosexual behavior.
    #12. Women can beat men in soccer. Any sport where women can even COMPETE with men should be considered a joke, and not a sport.
    #13. David Beckham.
    #14. Soccer is the world's excuse for not playing American football, the greatest sport in the history of mankind.
    #15. "The human body has arms, hands, shoulders, and a BRAIN - why can't you incorporate these into your sport of soccer?"
    #16. "The rest of the world loves soccer. Surely we must be missing something. Uh, isn't that what the Russians told us about communism? There's a good reason why you don't care about soccer - it's because you are an American and hating soccer is more American than mom's apple pie, driving a pick-up and spending Saturday afternoon channel-surfing with the remote control."
    17. Soccer = "Twenty-one guys standing around while one guy does a tap dance with a ball."

    *source of the quotes: