Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Man It Feels Good To Be A Gangster!

So, the boys in the neighborhood are always "hard." If you come talking that "trash" then we will be left with no choice but to "pull your car" knowing nothing in life but to be legitimate, please don't quote me boy because I have yet to say... I bet you didn't know that I am pretty gangster myself. Did you? As hard as I roll I am just a "poser" in comparison to the poster boy for Machiavelli's book The Prince. Look at this kid, he's only like 14 years old and he's already wearing a Doo rag, representing Western Europe by flashing Westsiiiiiiiide! It's like he doesn't even care who knows. Golly, he's like the super thug of the 15th Century.

If you think about it the Princes and Kings from back in the day are really the first Gang Bangers. I believe the street term is O.G. Think about it they got their posse that you do not want to mess with. They have their coat of arms which is now called gang colors, and they are all about protecting their turf and gaining new lands. Oh they are all about keeping up their rep, and ain't nobody gonna disrespect on them. And, last of all they all have their pimped out carriages. Crusin' slow as to impress the girls.

I bring up The Prince because I think that Machiavelli is really on to something and this is an amazing book on how to gain and maintain power. (This book is heavily endorsed by Dwight Schrute) Sadly, Dan Beebe, the commissioner of the Big 12 Conference has never read this book, because if he had then one of the Nations strongest conferences wouldn't be crumbling through his fingers as we speak.

This post is dedicated to outlining the Machiavellian principles on how to seize power and then retain it this time Dan! Now, just like how Machiavelli wrote this book to get on the Medici Families good graces, I'm pointing these concepts out so that hopefully Commissioner Beebe will be so pleased with me that perhaps he would appoint me to be the new AD at lets say umm...Baylor?

FIRST CONCEPT: Machiavelli outlines the different principalities and so in the interest of time I'll just tell you what principality I think the Big 12 falls under. And, that is Hereditary which is a power that has been obtained by fortune or ability. In 1928 the Big 8 was formed and the conference had immediate success sending teams to the prestigious Orange Bowl... In the 90's when Arkansas left the South West Conference for the South East Conference it had been rumored that Oklahoma would leave the Big 8 and join the SWC. What happened instead was the remaining four Texas schools joined the Big 8 and became the Big 12. Power was obtained by fortune and ability. The fortune came from that Texas oil $$$$ and the ability came from the Big 8's winning percentage.

SECOND CONCEPT: Is it better to be loved or feared? Because people will either love or hate their ruler, Machiavelli say's both! But, if they only love you then they will turn on you the second they think they love someone else more. If they only love you and don't fear you then they will have no problem stabbing you in the back, because they know that you can't or won't do anything about it. A perfect example of this is all the promises of TV riches from the Big Ten, Nebraska didn't even batt an eye. But, if the rulers subjects only fear with no love then that fear will turn to hate and you'll have a revolt on your hands. What a ruler really needs to concern himself with is maintaining control. This is done by having strict guidelines and rules. Think about it if The Big 12 had strict rules and guidelines for treason then Colorado would have thought twice about even talking to the Pac 10 after seeing what happened to Nebraska.

THIRD CONCEPT: Dan Beebe has announced that the Big 12 will not be expanding the conference. I think that's a bad idea, I feel that you have to replace the two open spots and then strike again before you get struck. Trust me when I say that the Pac 10 isn't done with expansion. If Notre Dame rejects the Big Ten's offer then I guarantee that they'll come gunning for Missouri. Machiavelli outlines that for a ruler to acquire states is based on his own powers is a very difficult way to obtain new lands but once obtained it's easier to maintain. Right now the Big Ten and Pac 10 had gotten their newly acquired states not by their own powers but by good fortune of noble birth, inheritance, or lucky circumstance. (TV BUCKS) Those are good ways of obtaining but as far as maintaining is way more difficult.

LAST CONCEPT: If the ends justify the means then do what it takes to see your kingdom succeed. Meaning that Nephi can lie to Zoram, and in essence steal the plates...Oh, he also killed Laban because it is better that one man should parish rather then an entire nation dwindle in unbelief. So, to Commissioner Beebe you do what it takes to expand your turf. You get two big name schools to come to the Big 12 North. I don't care how you do it, just get it done!

You follow these concepts and your conference will still be around in the next 5,10, 50 years, shoot forever.

Peace - Wayne Bass


  1. You should submit this to Sports Illustrated.

  2. If anything is gangster, it's Wayne Bass singing Friends in Low Places at the PepperTree