A How To Guide by Thome Widdison

So, a couple Halloween's ago Wayne Bass dressed up as a Roman Solider, it was pretty PIMP you should check it out on his facebook. His good friend Jack Riley made the breast plate, sword, and shield. Why did he go through the trouble to pound and mold that heavy metal? It was because he had to do a presentation on Caesar and the Professor said to dress up. So, Jack being the Smart Ace he is "dressed up" :)



Anyways, homeboy let Wayne use this awesome getup Jack had made and when Wayne got to the Stake Center the LDS gurlz mistook him for Captain Moroni. It's cool CM is a Stud, so Wayne just went with it. During the course of the evening Mr. Bass ran into this girl who some might say was ascetically pleasing. And, as they began to talk she mentioned that she was from Texas, and Wayne's response was oh! l'm from Oklahoma... What part of Texas do you come from? She said Austin but we don't really like Oklahoma. So, with all the intelligence he could muster Wayne told her, that's cool because we don't like your kind either! Then he gave her the dead Longhorns sign and walked away...

About one year later Wayne and I became roommates and Home Teaching Companions... It was a great time I learned a lot from him! Anyways, guess who was on our Home Teaching list! Yep, that Sexy Texan! As we walked away from our first visit with her I remember him saying that the blond was the same Texan from the Halloween Party. My response went something like "Wayne, I love you like a distant cousin I see only about once a year, but you are an IDIOT!!! If a girl who looks like that told me she thought the Pats were a bunch of Douches I'd say yep I sure do hate that Bill Belichick guy and whats up with that Tom Brady? I think he's a flamer"

Anyways, the title of this post is How To Be A Total Pharisee, by me! (THOME WIDDISON) A quick history lesson, the Pharisee's believed in do as I say not as I do. The same is true with me! There is a girl who lives in the same complex as me (I posted a photo below) who on occasions will wear a NY Jets gear (For those of you who don't know the New York Jets and the New England Patriots are like the Jedi Knights and the Storm Troopers, Cops and Robbers, Autobots and Decepticons. In short we don't like eachother. And, the other day when we finally spoke she told me, so I hear that you like the Pats, my response was "yeah I've seen your Jets jacket... We probably won't be friends! Then I went into my house! Boom take that Jet's!!! Blaha ha ha



Then I realized all the times I've given Wayne Bass crap for what had transpired that Halloween night, and all that I can say is that I'm sorry Wayne Bass! I see now that I am a Pharisee for calling you out for doing the exact same thing I'm currently doing. I'm sorry to my mom, my family and friends, to my fans, and most importantly to Wayne Bass. Wayne you have taught me many great and marvelous things but most importantly you have taught me that the team should come before random hot chicks. Hot Chicks who will probably just let me buy them diner and some ice cream cones a couple of times and then ditch me when they are through burning a hole in my wallet. A mans Football team is like a family, the players are like your brothers who never let you down. Except when they lose... That's really disappointing

To sum up that last paragraph we'll take a look at the words of Michael Scott: "Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly... she's not yo' ho no mo'

Help Me Please...I Can't Do This Alone

Brethren, I call upon all of you for help! I know that normally we debate certain topics quite furiously, and at times when we don't see eye to eye. Some of us on occasion has even threatened to leave the blog. Honestly, that's great! Really that's what I LOVE keep it up boys! It's that diversity among us middle class white males age 25-32 that has made this blog what it is today! If two partners agree on everything then the other partner isn't needed

Anyways, I'm asking for us to be able to set aside our differences on sport topics and focus on my current issue. I'm calling for blog wide help men! For this quick moment I need all Bloggers and Followers to focus our efforts from Blog Post vs. You to Us vs. Them. We are stronger together, and together we will achieve!

Most of you know my true feelings about women sports/ soccer and to be honest I feel that I have a pretty good arsenal to combat this communist sport when someone dares to challenge me. But, I have a new adversary men, it's called Rugby.

Earlier today I was called out by some foreigners who kept making fun of the fact that in America we have to wear protection so as not to get hurt. I explained that the style in which we tackle in America requires extra protection as opposed to the simple wrap up and pull down style of tackling they prefer across the big pond.

I've seen Thank You For Smoking and I am fully aware of the Nick Naylor approach to changing the topic to whatever I want to talk about. Luckily once we started talking about soccer I was able to reach back like a PIMP and verbally B-Slap those Brits!

That was a one time deal men, the next time I may not be so lucky. I won't be on campus at all tomorrow, and chances are good that those British kids aren't LDS so I probably won't see them at church on Sunday!!! But Monday I know I will see them again, because as they walked away with their tails between their legs they had the look in their eyes that spoke to me as if to say...”I'm calling my cousins and on Monday we'll have an amazing argument.” You didn't see their eyes, I did and that's what they said to me!

So, as you're reading this if the thought “Piss on Wayne” comes to your mind, just remember you're not doing this for me but you're doing this for America! If you won't do it for America, then please for the love of William H. Macy do it for FOOTBALL!!!!

football Football Football FOOtball FOOTball FOOTBall FOOTBAll FOOTBALl FOOTBALL!!!

I Love March/April Insanity!

My bracket is officially messed up and day one of the tournament just wrapped up. In the Southwest there was a 12 knocking of a 5 and 13 knocking off a 4. What's so awesome about that is that they then will play each other! That means there will for sure be a 12 or 13 seed in the Sweet 16. One of them will win and have a week to get ready for whatever matchup comes their way. Most likely it will be KU and they will poop on Richmond or Morehead's party. But oh imagine if they pull of that upset like Northern Iowa upset the over all #1 last year (was that last year or before). Either way, it makes for damn good sports watching. Also Gonzaga pulled off the upset by beating the Big East program St. John's which will lead to (hopefully) a preview of next year's WCC championship game with BYU v Gonzaga. You gotta think BYU has advantage but Gonzaga has an amazing program with rich history of playoff runs plus they have John Stockton's kid.

P.S. While it has nothing to do with March/April Lunacy, Space Jam starring Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan is one of the greatest movies of all time and I'm still a little ticked about the Oscar snubb.

BYU Honor Code/Facebook Friends

Every sports writer in America has put their two cents in about last week's news out of Provo, UT and the suspension of BYU player Brandon Davies. I haven't been surprised to see all the attention that the entire situation has garnered. However, I am surprised that the sports world hasn't caught on to the fact that I am Facebook friends with the guy who moved from the 4 spot to the 5 spot to replace Davies; Noah Hartsock!! Yeah, that's right! I'm FBF with the guy who touches the same ball as Player of the Year candidate Jimmer Fredette. I'm FBF with the guy from OKLAHOMA who is part of the best BYU basketball ever. For further proof see the following image. Who are you FBF with!?!

The Conference That Could Have Been

Like any good, single, male college sports fan, I was watching the BYU-San Diego State game when they flashed a chart that showed RPI by college conferences and Mountain West had the 4th highest behind the Big East, Big Ten and Big 12.

I have no idea what RPI means, but as a homer with roots near the Rocky Mountains, I need to spew some love for the Mountain West before it gets blown up. The Cougars and Aztecs look like they could easily hang with the top teams from the SEC, ACC and Pac-10.  The rankings indicate that they should be able to, I know there is some subjectivity to rankings as well, but that's what we've got to work with.

That being said it makes me sad that this budding rivalry is about to get nipped.  Obviously the MWC has a few disadvantages to some of the good ol boy conferences (The Mountain TV network is a big one), but they seem to be making a name for themselves in basketball. 

The NCAA tournament will obviously tell us more.  Mountain West teams haven't made it real far in recent years, but historically have had some great teams (UNLV in the early 90's, Utah in the mid-late 90's).

That's all about I can say about college basketball, my knowledge of the sport isn't extensive, so let's talk football for a while.

The top football teams in the MWC are better than the best of the Big East.  No contest.  Does anyone really think UConn or anyone else in that league would've had a chance against TCU last year?

The Horned Frogs aren't the only dominant team to play in the conference the last few years. What if we matched up the 09 Cincinatti Bearcats vs. last year's Utes team?  Please.  How about Utah obliterating Big East Champ Pitt in the Fiesta Bowl a few years back? Case closed.

Ok, so they've got the Big East.  How does the Mountain West stack up against other conferences?  I definitely think they could hold their own against the Big 10 and ACC, but they don't play each other enough to make a legitimate argument.  However, the Conference's Bowl record the last two years has been excellent.  What about the regular season?  

Air Force lost to Oklahoma 24-27 in Norman where OU is like 59-2 or something over the last few years

San Diego State lost to Missouri 24-27 in Columbia, Missouri

TCU had a 45-10 victory over Baylor and beat Oregon State 30-21 in Texas

Utah won against Pitt 27-24 at home and took it to Iowa State on the road 68-27.

Sure there were some MWC teams that laid some eggs and lost a few contests as well.  My point is that the conference isn't just feasting upon "little sisters of the poor."  (May I point out that TCU beat a Wisconsin team in the Rose Bowl that was hanging 70 points on their Big 10 opponents)

I'm not here to say the MWC is superior to all top conferences, but you have to think that by adding Boise State, Fresno State, Nevada and Hawaii, they might have had a chance at some day getting there for a few years ESPECIALLY if their programs could get the same kind of money the BCS generously pays out to the 6 major conferences.  If they could have held on to BYU, Utah and TCU and thrown out Wyoming (keep UNLV and New Mexico for basketball), it could have been magical.  Could the Mountain West have stayed on top for long?  No, nobody really can, and that's a good thing, but it would've been nice to possibly hit the summit for a year or two.

Alas, it's not so.  Life goes on.  We still love college sports.

D-will is D-gone to De-Nets

To quote Bill Simmons "Hey Deron Williams, you just destroyed pro basketball in Utah what are you going to do next? I'm going to Disney World!"
What is with this mass exodus of good players from the western conference? Do they not realize what they are doing? Instead of sticking around and putting the final nails in the coffins of the Lakers and the Spurs they just made it so much easier for one of those two teams to make it to the finals. Now I'm still pissed at the person who let the Spurs get good again but so help me if its the same person that is letting this happen.
What ever happened to loyalty? You know sticking around and building a team and taking that team to the promised land. Ala Jordon, Bird, Stockton and dare I say Kobe. It just doesn't make sense to me. Oh well, I guess this gives the Suns a better chance of making the playoffs.

Carmelo Sounds Like an Ice Cream Topping

Seriously, "Melo" may have the most delicious sounding name in sports. 

And now he's a knickerbocker, which also sounds like it could be some type of sugary treat.

You may be asking yourself what a picture of Grant Hill has to do with Carmelo Anthony moving across the country.  You may also be asking yourself why he looks so short and unathletic.  Don't worry the man in the picture isn't actually Grant Hill.

I threw on my "basketball fan" gear so I could pose as an expert for this post.  The truth is I don't care much about basketball in general until March Madness, and any single NBA game doesn't really hold much significance until a week or two after the NCAA champ is crowned.  The most important basketball games right now are probably happening at the high school level.  Too bad Coach Tyler Matlock and the fightin Oakley Hornets can't get more national media exposure.

However, let's lay the 3A Idaho State Playoff picture to the side for a moment so we can talk about the biggest national sports story of the day.  Carmelo Anthony is going to the Knicks, along with Chauncey Billups.  I'm sure David Stern is stoked to have relevant teams in Boston, Los Angeles, and now New York again and the NBA will be more lucrative because of the deal.

I'm not sure what else happened with the trade but I hear that Denver got some young talent and draft picks and that a third team was involved.  I don't know exactly what the Nuggets current ranking in the Western Conference is, but I think this drops them out of the playoffs by season's end.  Denver may be better off in the future, (possibly?) but this year I think the Suns and Blazers win more games than the Nuggets when all is said and done.

Thankfully, Carmelo didn't announce that he had a goal to bring a championship to Denver and that he wouldn't give up until it happened.  Thankfully he didn't hold an hour long special on ESPN announcing his talents had been traded to New York, but its still obvious that the Nuggets would have wanted to keep Anthony around if they weren't pretty darn sure he was going to bolt the first opportunity he got to play under the bright lights on the biggest stage.

I'm not going to rip Carmelo Anthony for his desires to increase his brand name, whatever, go make your money. 

I am simply going to point out that the NBA is turning into Major League Baseball, where smaller market teams draft and groom the most talented players so they can sell them to the Yankees or Red Sox when the player gets to good for them to afford him.  (Yes I'm calling you out Boston, I know New York is the "evil empire," but get real, you had the 2nd highest payroll in the league both years that you won the World Series, if you can't beat em, join em, right?)

ESPN is already speculating that Chris Paul or Deron Williams could be running the point for the Knicks beginning next year.  At this point, no big-time player wants to stay home.  

Apparently there is no appeal in trying to make a subpar team great any more.  Its all about teaming up with other stars to form a super team now.  Basketball players today have more in common with Kanye West than they do with Coach Gordon Bombay, or any other sports icon whose story was told through a heart-felt, inspiring movie.

My high school (the fightin bobcats of Madison High) won multiple state basketball championships before, during, and after my time there.  We didn't have the biggest school, come from the largest city, or pay our players the most.  We simply put the best team on the court for a few different years.  There was a real brotherhood that existed between the players and the coaches.  They didn't want to let each other down and knew they had to give 100%.  The NBA isn't about that anymore.  

There are exceptions.  I do take encouragement in Kevin Durant quietly re-signing a less than league maximum deal with a team whose practice facility he admits is in the smelly part of smaller city. 

I take even more encouragement in football, the biggest professional sport in the United States, where "team" still trumps individualism.  For proof of this, look no further than the team that won it all with 15 players on injured reserve.

Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly biased and would have backed the Green Bay Packers even if they had the highest payroll in the league as a result of signing Peyton Manning, and picking up Larry Fitzgerald and Andre Johnson for him to throw to and Adrian Peterson for him to hand off to, but they didn't need to do that to win it all.

The smallest market team in professional sports has signed one big time free agent in the last decade, and Charles Woodson stuck with Green Bay through 4-12, 6-10, and 8-8 seasons where they didn't sniff the playoffs. 

The Pack took B.J. Raji one pick before Michael Crabtree and Brian Buluga one pick before Dez Bryant in consecutive seasons.  THANK YOU TED THOMPSON! Both players came up huge during the playoffs, as did the many receivers drafted by Green Bay in the second round over the years (Jordy Nelson, Greg Jennings, James Jones).

The amazing thing is that the team the Packers beat in the SuperBowl has been built the same way, by drafting players that buy into the system and develop as a team.  Even though we are on track to an ugly lockout where millionaire players fight with billionaire owners, I want to thank the NFL.  I learned this season that 11 is greater than 1, that the best player in the league doesn't hoist the Lombardi Trophy at the end of the season, but the best team does.  And for that, I thank you football.